As I sit here today, watching the river, I am aware of how grateful I am to be able to enjoy such beauty. As the current gently rolls by, I think about how my life it continually moving. Trees may fall down, creating a huge wave, in its wake the waves calm down to a gentle roll again, leaving a few branches for the water to navigate around. The rain comes and the river gets deep. The sun comes out and the water goes back down. Continually flowing with grace and agility.
One Neigh at a Time Ranch has been blessed with two new colts this week. I have the pleasure of watching these two little guys experience many firsts. The mothers love for the new little lives is protective and wondrous. I get to love on them and watch them grow into strong healthy horses. I am truly blessed.
I remember a moment in my past when I found out my niece would be having a child. I knew without a shadow of doubt that I would never be able or allowed to watch this beautiful little child. At the time I was drinking a fifth of alcohol every day. Even if I knew in advance that I would be watching her, I could not just stop for the day and be responsible.
This was such a moment of clarity for me. Hoping that soon I could become a grandmother, I knew that in my current condition I could not be trusted. I was not the fun crazy grandmother that I pictured myself as, but the sick drunk grandmother, who couldn’t be reliable or trustworthy. I knew something had to change, but I was scared and frightened for the change.
Through the grace of God, doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself, I am sober today. I do have a grandson, whom I love and adore. I am completely reliable and trustworthy to watch and care for him. I don’t know what he will call me someday ~ maybe Stinky Grandma because I always smell of horse manure ~ but I will be honored, not ashamed, to be whatever name he comes up with to call me.
The wonders of life continue to flow. I am sober today and am willing and able to enjoy them. I never took the time to smell the roses before and now I’m planting them. Nothing happens in this world by mistake, but it’s okay to make mistakes while figuring this out. Never accept a life that is out of control. As the river continues to flow downstream today, my life too continues to evolve. It takes hard work, persistence and determination.
Life is so much better after you put down your bottle or drug. Give life a try. Take the plunge. My horses and I would love to start you on your journey, help you find a new path. We are looking forward to sharing these precious new colts and kicking up our hoofs.
Lets celebrate life.
I don’t even know you but I am so proud of you and your accomplishments! I have a brother that has been fighting alcoholism for years now and he is in a recovery program once again but I feel this time he is going to make it. Our family is strong and we have never given up on him just continue to love him and help the best we can. I too am a Grandma and it is one of the best feelings ever! I’m happy you get to enjoy it. God bless you and stay strong!
Thank you Sue, I appreciate your words. I am an alcoholic and I too have a loved one that struggles with addiction and know your pain. Keep the faith, and take care of yourself too. Remember its a disease, it’s not who he is, it’s cunning, powerful, baffling. Recovery does happen.
Hi Kathy. I’m happy to know you are doing so well. God works in mysterious ways doesn’t he.? Those foal are just adorable! Thank you for your work. I have family members that are alcoholics so I know your struggle. Keep up the good work!?
P.s. I always thought you were the prettiest girl in our school. When you see Leanne Cook, can you give her a hug for me? She’s the little sister I never had.lol
Hi LouAnne, he most certainly does,I see now that he never left my side, I ran from him, even hid sometimes. I will be happy to hug Leanne, she’s a beautiful friend to have in my corner. Thank you for your kind words.