Change is inevitable. It’s when and how we choose to begin the change that is problematic. Fear has two faces for me: it’s what stops me from changing and it’s also what starts me on a journey of change. I have both fear of failure and fear of success. The thought of making big or small changes in my life is scary, because at the beginning I can never know the outcome and there is always a chance that I will fail.

“What if I Fall? Oh, but my darling what if you fly?” ~ Erin Hanson

If you are contemplating a change in your life, I’m guessing it’s because something is not going in a direction that leads to your happiness or excitement. One usually doesn’t change a good thing, unless life forces them too, like your health or the death of a loved one. For me change is a process. I’m a visual person, so I go to my head to dream up all the good reasons for a change and to imagine how my life will be better as a result.

Then Negative Nelly steps in — she always does – and sets my fears in motion about all the bad that will come with change. My fears start talking to my head, kicking my heart to the side. “Kathy, life the way it is now is just fine.” (F.I.N.E. stands for Fearful, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional.) I start second guessing myself. I work hard to talk myself into what, why and how I should keep life just as it is. Staying the same is familiar. It might not be best, but it is usually predictable.

Nobody told me how hard and lonely change is. ~ Joan Gilbertson

After the choice is made to move forward, it’s time for action. It’s time to step into the unknown and look fear in the face. I wonder, as I take steps forward, what resistances I will face? How do I stick to my choice when the fear sets in? How will I make it through the inevitable ups and downs? The irony is that I am experiencing F.I.N.E. in my life every day.

I get a support system to turn to in the weak moments. I give myself a big pat on the back when change starts to work out positively. I refuse to let fear win, which would put me right back into the same predicament that I was in before the change.

Acceptance, Awareness and Action — the three A’s of making life changes. Accept where you are in your life and how you got there. Become aware of the need to change what isn’t working into a plan of action that will move you forward. Choose to step into your journey of discovery — a journey that is awesome and that brings you great joy and excitement.

Step up and face your fear. Make changes that empower your life. Staying stuck in a life that’s unfulfilling is not acceptable. If every day is a bad day, you need to work on how to make your days ahead good days. Life is too short to live in fear. Have the faith in yourself and your higher Power to give you the courage to do the next right thing and good things will start to happen.

Horses live a life that we all dream of. They do not judge. They do not complain about other horses. They do not wish things were different. They enjoy the moment; they don’t worry about tomorrow and live life excited about what’s happening now, today, this moment. Our horses and I will help you face your fear and show you what’s in your heart to guide you through your big life changes.