“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
Are you living your dream? When I was living in my Addiction, my answer was a resounding NO!! Having a dream or a vision of a positive future was impossible when my days were filled with the need to put alcohol in my body. I was stuck in a life filled with sickness and fear. Not knowing what happiness and joy even looked like anymore, I was desperate to make changes to find happiness. I was barely living, let alone living my Dream.
A trip to Napa Valley in California should have been a dream come true. But instead it became a wake-up call. Packing for our trip, I was filled with anxiety and worry about how I could travel with others and not have them recognize how badly my body trembled if I went without a drink for any amount of time.
I stashed a bottle in my suitcase for insurance. I had two double shot drinks before I boarded. I drank those lovely small bottles on the plane, trying to fill my body up with Alcohol. The bottle I bought at a liquor store before we reached our destination only satisfied me for a bit, because I knew that my body would need, not just want, more by tomorrow. I used my traveling bottle for my sneak sips, night time must-haves and morning juice. By the end of the weekend, I couldn’t eat, my stomach was screaming at me, my nerves were taking control of my whole body and I continued drinking hoping that would allow me to look normal, even though I felt terrified. So I missed Napa Valley, the beauty of it, the rolling hills and majestic castles. All I wanted was to be home in my own bedroom, so I could hide in my Addiction.
Since beginning the Touched by a Horse Equine Gestalt Coaching Program in 2014, I have had the pleasure of traveling to Colorado, where I went to the top of the Rocky Mountains. I watched in awe as a herd of elk walked right in front of me. I flew to Arizona where I walked to the top of Black Mountain, breathing in and yelling at the top of my lungs my gratitude in my heart. I travelled to Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia and North Carolina. I drove through the Smoky Mountains, traveling the curvy roads, enjoying the beauty of the land.
I have great pleasure today, because I’m sober, creating and designing, like a beautiful craft project, my Dream life. Watching it slowly manifesting is heart warming. I am finding my inner peace and joy, having crawled out of the deep dark hole of Addiction I had dug for myself. Feeling the warm light of my soul opening up is incredible.
It does not matter how deep your hole is, or how much dirt and grime you’ve thrown on yourself, you can always clean yourself off and crawl out. You can wish upon a star, swing onto the moon and feel the bright light of the sun coming up inside you.
“The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.”