Neigh #5…Let go of guilt and shame. Give your regrets to Spirit – Spirit within and Spirit that surrounds you. Be gentle with yourself. Live your life in your truth and you will walk a path of freedom.
It is said that resentments are the number one reason that those who suffer from addiction end up going back “out.” Letting go of your guilt and shame, and letting go of your resentments toward yourself and others, is imperative to your recovery. Taking responsibility for your part is the first step. Being gentle with yourself is the next step. Forgiveness is the final step.
I made many mistakes in my drinking life. When I began my journey into recovery, the fog in my head started to lift, but I continued to be weighed down by my failures. It became clearer and clearer to me that when I was drunk I gave myself permission to do stupid and hurtful things. Without conscience I allowed bad behavior to be part of my life. Sober, I started to see all the mistakes and shameful acts I made while I was actively in my addiction.
In order to forgive myself, I had to face my past. I knew that holding on to all that weighed me down would only give me an excuse to drink again, and I was not willing to allow that to happen. I reached a point when I would do anything to be able to let go. I turned to my divine spirit, God, and ask him to free me from the burden of my own errors.
Taking responsibility for your part is the first step. Being gentle with yourself is the next step. Forgiveness is the final step.
By living a life that I was proud of, I could start to put my past where it belonged — in the past. Admitting my mistakes, I asked for forgiveness from those whom I knew I had hurt, and promised my commitment to live a better life.
I went to the horses. They live in the moment. And whenever I started feeling sorry for myself and gave myself a hard time for my past mistakes, they showed me that staying in the space of guilt and shame was not healthy. Supporting me in my journey of recovery, one horse actually pushed / nudged me, which I understood as, “Move forward, Kathy!”
Listening to my heart, living a life without drugs or alcohol, allows me to make better choices. I am growing in my spirituality, which gives me guidance to live a life that my divine spirit, God, blesses. When I live moment to moment, believing and practicing my internal core values, I am living my truth.
Let go of your guilt and shame. Holding it only keeps you sick. Joy is a gift for each of us. It comes with loving yourself and others. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is forgiven. It’s what we do in the moments, days, and years ahead that shape us. Make yourself a priority and let our horses show you how you can move forward in your life. Isn’t it time you trust the horse and trust the process? See you in the barn!
Beautiful! Thank goodness for having support networks, in that when we are trying to let go of such horrific things, we are surrounded by love and true understanding via our friends in recovery. But amazingly, also by the horses. I would have never fully grasped how clearly evident that connection is, beyond a shadow of a doubt type evident, without personally experiencing this. The horses don’t understand our words, which makes the “nudge” (and other gestures) during the EXACT moment needed, based only upon our heart and not our words, is so powerful it is hard to articulate. A feeling of connection and understanding, that isn’t experienced anywhere else. People hear our words. Horses don’t. Thus the connection is so much deeper for me. Watching Carolina nudge our friend at Serenity in the Barn two weeks ago, at just the right moment when she was uncomfortable with one particular sentence, was mind blowing. My jaw dropped and I’m so grateful to have witnessed that moment.
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