I believe that everything happens for a reason People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when their right, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Marilyn Monroe.
As I entered into this journey of recovery, it not only changed my life dramatically but it changed the lives of the ones closest to me. I dare to bet that there are a few people that were apart of my drinking days that would even say they miss that party girl, Kathy. They’re all happy that I am sober, because of my health, but they even say to me that I’m missed.
When I first got sober, I had a thought that I felt like I died. Everyone continued on with their lives and every now and then I’d cross their minds, they’d mention me here and there and continue on with whatever they were doing
Who are they missing? That’s the question I ask myself. I know that that statement is a genuine thought and that they do miss hanging with me. I take that statement to heart, but I also have grown so much since that party girl was active, that missing her is the last thing I want on my mind or others.
I had my process to go through and others had theirs. My job was become trustworthy, to do the next right thing. I might not of always known what the next right thing is, but I defiantly knew what the next wrong thing was. I had to take responsibility for my actions and to let others do the same. Just because I was sober didn’t mean that I stopped making mistakes. The difference is that I made them with a clear head, nothing or no one to blame.
The choices that I made might of hurt others, to that I am sorry. I also know that every step I took, right or wrong, I am where I am today because of those choices. I can’t take back anything that I did in my past, nor do I wish to. I’m sober today, the path I took has gotten me here.
I have learned that not all decisions have to be made today. I can give myself the time to process and pray for an answer to feel right. Today I try not to force things to happen, letting them happen naturally and in due time, result in a more conducive outcome.
It is said that to be a coach I need to have a coach. My coach for the last 2 years is someone that I have leaned on to guide me through many steps in my life. Feeling listened to and finding solutions within myself, without judgment has been so beneficial in my journey. Sometimes having someone to help you put your thoughts in perspective, gives you the chance to put your fears aside and make a more enlightened decision.
“Just because you fail once, it doesn’t mean you’re going to fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself because if you don’t, then who will? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” Marilyn Monroe