“That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
My son was married last weekend at our Peace of Serenity Ranch. We had a beautiful celebration. And no alcohol was served. We chose to have a “sober” wedding and I enjoyed every minute of it. What an amazing thing for me to say! I actually enjoyed a dry wedding! Before recovery I would drink on my way to the wedding, go to a bar in-between, and of course, sneak out to my car to grab a few sips or guzzles during the reception. Then, I couldn’t wait for the event to be over, so I could drink with abandon!
At my son’s wedding I saw others doing exactly that, and if not for the grace of god, there go I. Five years ago I would have been right next to them, thinking that I was entitled, and judging “who has a wedding without alcohol, anyway?” Last weekend I never saw anyone drinking, I didn’t have to pick up stale beer cans the next day, and no one danced on the tables.
My son is in recovery, also; he has been sober for 2 years. To be able to celebrate, toast, dance, mingle, and end the evening driving away (my son as the passenger, still dealing with mistakes) to their first evening alone as husband and wife, all without one drink. This is such an amazing accomplishment for him; and it was such a joy for me to watch.
Before recovery, my son had a vision of his wedding day and it included an alcohol-induced rip roaring party. So he was wondering if he would walk away disappointed because it was dry. He, I, and some others set our expectations low. We were afraid that no one would dance and that everyone would leave right after dinner. What we saw was laughter, dancing, and people enjoying themselves. I told people if they wanted to drink to do so quietly, to do so respectfully, and my son was pleased to see that they did. He never saw a bottle or a can. He didn’t miss alcohol at all and was happy to toast with water. He said that dancing was different sober, but that he completely enjoyed himself. The whole day was better than he ever imagined. And that from a 26-year old man.
Like my son, I never dreamt before recovery that I would host a sober wedding, but I am so glad that such a beautiful day was celebrated without alcohol and its craziness. No one started a fight, no one fell on the dance floor, no one embarrassed themselves not remembering what they did the next day. All of which 5 years ago would have or could have been me or my son, the groom. I am grateful today that we are in recovery. That we face life without having to lower our inhibitions and alter our state of being with alcohol.
The horses were not a part of the festivities but they did stand by and offer their support and provide a beautiful background to those who stepped outside. If you are contemplating a change in your life, or if you need help with a charting a new direction, please reach out and ask for help. Our horses and I are ready to guide you. See you in the barn!