Thanksgiving. It’s a time set aside when people stop and say thank you. I am filled with so much appreciation for all that I have and all that I am. There was a time when my life was not so wonderful. I was surrounded by people whom I loved and who loved me. The problem was I didn’t love myself.
With blessings all around me, I still I felt empty. I knew I was doing things that were wrong, but my head kept finding reasons why they were permissible. I kept talking myself into believing that I would change – tomorrow; that I’d be strong enough to drink on the weekends and maybe once during the week. I never considered that I’d quit completely. I asked my God, “Please tomorrow let me be strong enough to not drink.” Tomorrow came and went and I drank. My body told me that if I didn’t stop I would get sicker and sicker, but I wasn’t listening.
This Thanksgiving I woke up early enough to start the turkey, feed the horses and come back in to prepare the rest of the dinner. My children were coming over and my man and I were entertaining them. I spent many a years not being able to crawl out of bed until noon, not able to eat the beautiful meal prepared by loving hands, because I was hungover. The night before Thanksgiving is the biggest night of the year for bars and in the past my head told me that I had to support the cause! This year I was so grateful to be willing and able to entertain with a smile on my face and love in my heart — not sickness in my stomach.
It took some time for me to be grateful for the change in my life. It didn’t, by any means, happen overnight. I’ve worked hard, not only to stay sober, but to be living a life of joyful recovery.
It took some time for me to be grateful for the change in my life. It didn’t, by any means, happen overnight. I’ve worked hard, not only to stay sober, but to be living a life of joyful recovery. This week has also been a time of appreciating the importance of taking care of my sobriety. I’ve witnessed a couple people who chose to take a drink again. They didn’t just have a bad day and drink. They had many bad moments that lead up to that day and that drink.
They didn’t take care of their sobriety. They didn’t choose to use the tools or resources they’d learned for staying sober. They allowed their heads, not their hearts, to rule their actions. I know that I will never give up working on my recovery. My toolbox will never be completely full and I want as many options to turn to as I can have as I go through life, one day at a time.
When struggling days occur, I might feel sorry for myself and sulk for a day or two, but I do what I need to do to protect my sobriety. I call a fellow recovering friend, I read, I meditate, I take a walk, pray, connect to my spirituality. I go to meetings, call my coach, I go to the horses. If I let days pass without using these tools, my strength weakens and my head tells me that maybe a drink would be okay, just this once.
What have you done today to feel better about yourself? If you are in recovery, what are you doing to honor and protect your sobriety? Today I started my morning with reading inspirational meditations, I prayed, I helped a fellow recovering person and I talked with my coach. I spent time with my horses. I honor my sobriety. I show my gratitude to others by giving thanks for my recovery.