The opposite of addiction in not sobriety. The opposite of addiction is connection.
~ Johann Harris
I traveled to Colorado this past week for a business Summit for the Touched by a Horse program which I am certified to be an Equine Gestalt Recovery Coach. While I was driving with a fellow coach to and from Melisa Pearce’s beautiful ranch, I had a questions directed to me. She asked me this: What do I enjoy the most about becoming sober?
What a great question, right? I have an extremely long gratitude list, but by far the one that is at the forefront is my spirituality. To be even more specific is the connection that I have with my god. Learning that I can trust, lean on, and praise this part of me, this increasing glowing light that is in my soul.
As a child I was raised to go to church and to attend church school and camps. My parents weren’t regular churchgoers, but when they went, always seemed to enjoy the Sunday service. As a teen, I was forced to go. I never wanted to or felt that I needed to. Alcohol had already become my “god.”
I was disconnected from my spiritual side. Drinking took me down a trail that distanced me even further from my spiritual god. If I believed in the god I met as a child, then I was going to hell for my actions while I was drinking. In one church they asked all the Christians to stand up. I didn’t stand, not because I didn’t want to, but because I felt undeserving. Undeserving and hung over!
Yearning for connection and meaning as an adult, I visited many churches but never felt I belonged in any of them. I knew I was missing something, but wasn’t sure what it was or how to get it.
As I sobered up, I was asked to believe in a power greater than myself. I certainly didn’t trust in myself, so I loved the idea of trusting and talking to my god. It wasn't easy to believe that I was being listened to, but it did feel good to unload all my thoughts and feelings to someone. I wanted answers, clear and precise. What do I do about this? Should I do this or that? I never heard a voice from outside of myself giving me answers, but I started to feel a heart connection. I started tapping into and listening to my inner wisdom.
This connection gave me comfort. When I truly followed my heart’s desire, I experienced a sense of peace in my soul. I began to notice the difference in how my body felt when I did the next right thing for myself. When I did something that felt wrong, I became disconnected from my body. The more I leaned on and trusted in my god, the more light radiated within my soul.
The horses also have helped me connect with my spiritual side. When I stand in my truth and open my heart to them, they respond with acceptance and love. When I’m stuck in my head, they disengage and our connection is lost. Connection to my spiritual side keeps me connected to my heart. When I’m connected to my heart, I do not need or desire to pick up an alcoholic drink or drug again.
I enjoy following my heart, mind and soul’s desires. Praising a higher power keeps me on my discovery journey toward an awesome future.
Listen to your heart and joy will find you.