“My business is not to remake myself, But make the absolute best of what God made.”
I met with a friend recently, whom I have not seen in 5 years. She and I were best friends through high school; we did everything together. If I wasn’t staying at her house on weekends, she was at mine. Riding around jamming to music, Boston, Meatloaf, and Fleetwood Mac blaring on the radio or cassette player. It’s amazing how, when you run into a friend you haven’t seen in many years, you can laugh and be connected immediately and at such a personal level.
Since it had been so long, we had lots to talk about. I was excited to tell her about my life and to hear about all that she’s been up to since we last talked. As we caught up on each other’s lives, I had the pleasure of describing my new life to her. What I have accomplished in the last 4+ years since I started my journey into recovery. What a great feeling it is to have changed so many things in my life in such a short amount of time.
In the years prior to recovery, I felt so non-productive. I felt embarrassed whenever anyone asked what I was up to or posed the famous question “What do you do?” Though I loved being a mom, I was never proud to be a housewife. While it was a job that many say is the toughest job out there, it certainly doesn’t get the recognition that other jobs do. I never received a raise or a bonus for a job well done. I felt others thought I, as a stay-at-home mom, was uneducated and less than.
As my kids grew up they became more self-sufficient and I had fewer “mom” responsibilities. The job I had put my everything into was diminishing and so was my self worth. I replaced my “desire to be needed” with drinking. I replaced my self worth with self-loathing. The more I drank the less respect for who I was as a mother grew. And the less I thought of me, the more I drank. It was a crazy cycle that I created.
When I sobered up I started to recognize that I have a responsibility to myself for finding a passion in my life and for creating a life that would make me proud. It didn’t matter what age I was, I started dreaming of ways to fill my soul with excitement. What excited me right away, even within my first 30 days of recovery, was that I wanted to be able to help others find their way to recover. Watching others, along with me, become healthier, literally right in front of my eyes, was incredible. You could see their skin color and texture change daily and a light start to shine in their eyes. You could hear the return of laughter. I knew I had to do something in the recovery field.
So I was proud that I could tell my friend what my life is like today. About One Neigh at a Time and how honored I am to be working with these amazing horses. How horses and my coaching give me an opportunity to touch the hearts of others, to help others find passion and excitement for a life in recovery as they discover and step into their personal journey. I love my life today and am grateful for all the possibilities that God has shown me; how by having a healthy mind, body, and soul you can create your dream